Palimony: A More Relevant Ideal For Today's Modern Relationships.

In today's contemporary world, it is common for men and women to cohabit with their romantic partner without contemplation of marriage.  Many relationships mimic a marriage without the legal tie. 

When a marriage ends, all of the assets and debts of each spouse must be distributed pursuant to the principle of "equitable distribution".  Recognizing that it costs more for two people to live separately than it does to live together, the goal in New Jersey is to equitably distribute the wealth and debt accumulated between the parties during the marriage so as to leave each party reasonably capable of maintaining a similar lifestyle after the marriage ends.  Generally, each spouse has an equitable interest in the assets (and debts) of the other spouse, and upon divorce, the court must determine the value of that interest in order to carry out the equitable distribution scheme.

In the absence of marriage, there is no right or "equitable interest" in the assets of the other partner.  Nor is there any equitable obligation to the debts in the name of the other partner.  Likewise, there is no entitlement for support even if one partner became financially dependent on the other during a long term period of cohabitation.  The only way to guarantee some financial security in the event of a breakup is to enter into a written palimony agreement.  Palimony refers to financial support from one person to another when a long-term, non-marital relationship ends.  It is generally given to a person who became financially dependent on the other person, relying on express or implied promises that his or her significant other would support him or her financially for the rest of their lives. Prior to 2010, claims for palimony in New Jersey were permitted when a promise of lifetime support was broken.  Since 2010 however, New Jersey law provides that palimony agreements are only enforceable if the couple creates a written agreement with an attorney. 

In the absence of a written palimony agreement, issues regarding the division of property such as a home or car can be complicated if the property was purchased in both names.   An action for partition may be necessary.  If a couple also has children, all issues will likely be determined in the family court system. 

If you and your partner cohabit but elect not to enter into marriage, make sure you understand the potential financial ramifications of the decisions you  make as a familial unit.  There is nothing wrong with proactively securing your future financial rights by way of a written palimony agreement.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  Visit and Like my professional Facebook page for informative posts relative to family law and guardianships.  Like and Share!

Happy Friday,

Stephanie

Write Your Will, Right Now.

I am sure you have heard the advice... you need a Will.  And you probably think to yourself, Why?  The answer is simple:   Because today could be your last day on earth.

You may be thinking that you do not have anything of value that anyone would want.  Are you sure about that?  Do you have a bank account?  A car?  A piece of jewelry?  Who do you want to get that money or those items (whatever the value) when you die?  You may be thinking that you do not have children, so it does not matter.  Let me explain why it does.

First I want to drive home the point that we really never know when we are going to pass.  The southern New Jersey legal community lost a judge last week.  The Honorable Allen J. Littlefield died suddenly at the age of 48.  He left behind a wife and two young children, his parents, siblings and in-laws.  It was a shock that we are all still processing.  His death was from natural causes.  But to most everyone who knew him - he seemed "fit as a fiddle".  His sudden and tragic death is a reminder that we should always have a plan in place.

Let's start with kids.  Are you a single parent?  Who will be the guardian for your children if you were to die suddenly?  In New Jersey, it is presumed that the other biological parent will assume responsibility and there is an inference that they are entitled to custody or guardianship.  If there are facts about this person that make you uncomfortable about that presumption - you ought to name a guardian in your Will.  The parent can always try to legally challenge the Will, but at least you will have indicated your preference and put the court on notice that this person is not necessarily the best choice.

Are you married to someone who has children from another relationship?  If you die intestate (without a Will), your spouse is legally entitled to inherit all of your estate.  And when your spouse later dies, everything that he or she inherited from you will go to (a) whomever they indicated in their Will; or (b) to all of their children, equally.  That means that whatever was yours prior to your death may later pass to a child unrelated to you.  There are ways to structure your Will to prevent that from happening. 

Maybe you are single, or happily married with no children, and you do not believe you have any assets or anything of value that requires the drafting of a Will.   That could be true.  Many people scrape by each month to pay bills; they don't own a home or a car and have nothing else of value.  But there are also many individuals who have a decent job, with a modest bank account, their car is paid off, or maybe there is some equity in their home.  If this is you, and you are single, then your estate will pass to your parents (if they are still living) or to your siblings.  Is that what you want?  Or would you like your brother to get your baseball card collection and your sister to get the car?  If you have a Will, you can express those wishes. 

Another reason to draft a Will is that you get to name an Executor.  The Executor is the person who is responsible for probating the Will and making sure your wishes are carried out.  This person should be someone you trust.  If you die without a Will, then the Court will appoint an Administrator - usually a family member, and that person will be required to post a bond.  A bond is an insurance policy in case the Administrator fails to manage your estate properly; i.e., does not properly handle the debt or the money in the estate.  If you name an Executor in your Will, you can also indicate that the bond requirement should be waived.  Getting a bond is not easy.  Anyone who has had any financial problems in their past is going to have a difficult time getting bonded.  Writing a Will makes everything easier for your family and friends after you die.

For people with large valued estates, there may be tax reasons for drafting a Will in a certain way.  Almost any lawyer can draft a simple Will.  An experienced estate lawyer can help identify more complex issues and explain why certain provisions might be best for you and ultimately best for your family. 

Its never too soon to write a Will.  For more information I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  For daily posts with  helpful information to like and share, find and Like my Facebook page.

Have a good week,

Stephanie

Can I Represent Myself in Family Court?

Are you the Do-It-Yourself  (DIY) type?  Many people are very self-reliant.  They are intelligent, have a college education, access to a computer (hey, you found this blog) and consider themselves quite practical.  These people paint their own living room, change their car's oil, research grass/lawn care and have a fabulous lush green front yard.  These people might even fix their own sink if it clogs, and they never panic at the sight of blood.  So naturally, they are confident that they can handle their own divorce, or arrange a custody or child support order.

So, why should you hire a lawyer to handle these pesky little legal issues?  Sorry, I cannot answer that question for you.  I am not a salesman and I will not waste time trying to convince you that you need me as your lawyer.  Only you can make that decision.   However, as you mull this decision over, as I am sure you will, consider the following.

Those who are Pro-se (do you know what that word means?) are expected to know the Rules of Court.  At last count, it is a 2,830 page book.  Are you Plaintiff or Defendant?  What if you have an existing Court Order and you want it modified - are you still the same Plaintiff and Defendant from the first order? 

To what are you entitled in a divorce action?  What if your spouse cheated?  Shouldn't the scum of the earth pay for it?  What about that 401K that you diligently saved?  Its all yours, right?  Or is it?  What about the money you inherited from your father?  Or the credit card debt that your spouse racked up re-decorating the house - you never wanted that 50" Smart TV, or the X-box, or the fancy throw pillows.  Best Buy and Bed Bath & Beyond don't care.  So which spouse pays that bill?

Child support?  Just submit your paystubs and the court can figure it out.  Right - except for when the paystubs do not reflect the true income.  Then what?  What if you or your ex have children with other people?  Is that relevant?  What about college?  Who pays the tuition?  What if you believe the child should pursue the military instead?

DIY-ers can probably find all of this information by doing research.  But when are you going to do that research?  On your days off?  After work?  Issues in Family Court are not weekend projects like painting your living room or fixing the sink.  On average, an uncontested divorce - truly uncontested - takes about 3 months.  Mildly contested actions take at about a year, and highly contentious matters can last 2 years or more.  Even a motion for child support can take 2-3 months.  That's a long time to DIY, especially if it becomes emotionally draining, as most family issues do.

Think about it.  Yes, you can DIY if you are willing and able to invest the time and energy (physical and emotional) that is required.  Or, you can hire a lawyer who already knows these answers.  Then you can spend your weekend with your children, or changing your oil, or working on your yard.  Maybe you could even - (gasp!) - meet a match at Starbucks!

Putting all sarcasm aside.... if you decide to DIY, good luck.  If you decide to hire a lawyer, make sure you are comfortable.  A good fit between attorney and client makes for a happier ending.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  Find and Like my professional Facebook page for informative posts to like and share!

Best,

Stephanie

Co-parent or Parallel-parent: What style fits you?

Divorced or separated parents come in all shapes and sizes, ages, races and socio-economic backgrounds.  But they all either get along, or don't. 

In thinking about this issue, I came across a great article Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: Which Approach Is Best for Your Family?  The article explains that parents who can get along with their ex are often very successful as "co-parents".  They communicate with eachother in a non-confrontational way, they are flexible with eachother as plans change, and they support eachother in enforcing rules or punishments.  In short, they work together for the benefit of their children.

Ideally, all parents would co-parent and we would all live happily ever after.  But the real world is full of conflict and tension, especially between exes.  Children of these parents still need the support of both parents and the parents still probably want the best for their children; albeit in a different style than their ex.  Co-parenting does not work for these high-conflict parents.  Instead, "Parallel parenting" is a better choice.     Parallel parenting plans must be highly structured and detail oriented.  A back-up or "Plan B" is a good idea in the event of unforeseen circumstances such as changes in a parent's schedule on any given day.  The goal of parallel parenting is to support the disengagement of the parents so that there is less opportunity for conflict and resulting emotional harm to the children.  Rules should be established such as curb-side drop-off, neutral location drop-off or email-only communication. 

As the children grow and mature, parenting plans will need to be modified to accommodate changes in routine and school obligations.  Hopefully in the meantime,  parents can establish a workable parenting plan or style conducive to their level of tension with their ex.

For more information and to schedule a consultation I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  I would also encourage you to Like my professional  Facebook page for informative posts regarding family law or guardianship issues.

Have a great weekend!

Stephanie