Spring Training for Family Law

Family Law issues are rife with emotional highs and lows.  Whether you are in an unsatisfying relationship, need an increase in child support, or are trying to figure out how you and your ex will pay for your children's college expenses; family issues are usually always stressful.  Changes in your everyday routine can exacerbate that stress.  The holiday season is an obvious example of when our routines are shaken up.  But even seemingly innocuous changes in life, like the change in seasons, can cause increased tension.  Here are six tips to help you get through it, and prepare for action.

1.  First of all, make a resolution.  We typically think of New Year’s Resolutions, but the Spring season is a time of new beginnings.  We observe it every year when we begin to hear birds chirping in the morning, or when the crocuses start popping through the soil.   Spring is the start of new sports; our kids put away their football cleats and dig out the lacrosse sticks, and our favorite baseball team starts "spring  training".   So start your own "spring training"; set a goal to get out of a bad relationship or file a motion to modify support.  It can be a very empowering decision.  It can be your New Beginning.  

2.  Start gathering documents.  Your attorney will need bank statements, your last tax return, 3 paystubs from each party and information on utility bills, mortgage or rent payments.  

3.  Determine your goal.  Do you want primary physical custody of your children?  Do you want to remain in the  marital home?  Do you need more child support because you lost a job?  Have a primary goal and a secondary goal. 

4.  Talk it out.  Talk to a friend, clergy member or counselor.   Being able to vent your feelings can help you focus on what you really want.  You must be able to calmly express yourself to your lawyer.

5.  Retain an attorney.  Ask friends for recommendations and then schedule a consultation (or two).  You need to feel comfortable with your lawyer.  The essence of a lawyer/client relationship is trust.  If you feel comfortable with and trust your lawyer, you will more than likely be happy with the end results.

6.  Last but not least, take care of yourself.  Now that the weather is getting nicer, go outside and get some fresh air; get a manicure or have dinner with a friend; play a pick-up game with your buddies or grab a beer after work.  It’s okay to laugh and have fun, even when you’re going through a difficult time.

Take some silent pleasure when you hear those birds in the morning.  Its nature's message to you -- start spring training and be responsible for your own "New Beginning".

For more information or to schedule a consultation, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.   For interesting posts and helpful links, "Like" my professional Facebook page. 

Best,

Stephanie

Palimony: A More Relevant Ideal For Today's Modern Relationships.

In today's contemporary world, it is common for men and women to cohabit with their romantic partner without contemplation of marriage.  Many relationships mimic a marriage without the legal tie. 

When a marriage ends, all of the assets and debts of each spouse must be distributed pursuant to the principle of "equitable distribution".  Recognizing that it costs more for two people to live separately than it does to live together, the goal in New Jersey is to equitably distribute the wealth and debt accumulated between the parties during the marriage so as to leave each party reasonably capable of maintaining a similar lifestyle after the marriage ends.  Generally, each spouse has an equitable interest in the assets (and debts) of the other spouse, and upon divorce, the court must determine the value of that interest in order to carry out the equitable distribution scheme.

In the absence of marriage, there is no right or "equitable interest" in the assets of the other partner.  Nor is there any equitable obligation to the debts in the name of the other partner.  Likewise, there is no entitlement for support even if one partner became financially dependent on the other during a long term period of cohabitation.  The only way to guarantee some financial security in the event of a breakup is to enter into a written palimony agreement.  Palimony refers to financial support from one person to another when a long-term, non-marital relationship ends.  It is generally given to a person who became financially dependent on the other person, relying on express or implied promises that his or her significant other would support him or her financially for the rest of their lives. Prior to 2010, claims for palimony in New Jersey were permitted when a promise of lifetime support was broken.  Since 2010 however, New Jersey law provides that palimony agreements are only enforceable if the couple creates a written agreement with an attorney. 

In the absence of a written palimony agreement, issues regarding the division of property such as a home or car can be complicated if the property was purchased in both names.   An action for partition may be necessary.  If a couple also has children, all issues will likely be determined in the family court system. 

If you and your partner cohabit but elect not to enter into marriage, make sure you understand the potential financial ramifications of the decisions you  make as a familial unit.  There is nothing wrong with proactively securing your future financial rights by way of a written palimony agreement.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  Visit and Like my professional Facebook page for informative posts relative to family law and guardianships.  Like and Share!

Happy Friday,

Stephanie

Can I Represent Myself in Family Court?

Are you the Do-It-Yourself  (DIY) type?  Many people are very self-reliant.  They are intelligent, have a college education, access to a computer (hey, you found this blog) and consider themselves quite practical.  These people paint their own living room, change their car's oil, research grass/lawn care and have a fabulous lush green front yard.  These people might even fix their own sink if it clogs, and they never panic at the sight of blood.  So naturally, they are confident that they can handle their own divorce, or arrange a custody or child support order.

So, why should you hire a lawyer to handle these pesky little legal issues?  Sorry, I cannot answer that question for you.  I am not a salesman and I will not waste time trying to convince you that you need me as your lawyer.  Only you can make that decision.   However, as you mull this decision over, as I am sure you will, consider the following.

Those who are Pro-se (do you know what that word means?) are expected to know the Rules of Court.  At last count, it is a 2,830 page book.  Are you Plaintiff or Defendant?  What if you have an existing Court Order and you want it modified - are you still the same Plaintiff and Defendant from the first order? 

To what are you entitled in a divorce action?  What if your spouse cheated?  Shouldn't the scum of the earth pay for it?  What about that 401K that you diligently saved?  Its all yours, right?  Or is it?  What about the money you inherited from your father?  Or the credit card debt that your spouse racked up re-decorating the house - you never wanted that 50" Smart TV, or the X-box, or the fancy throw pillows.  Best Buy and Bed Bath & Beyond don't care.  So which spouse pays that bill?

Child support?  Just submit your paystubs and the court can figure it out.  Right - except for when the paystubs do not reflect the true income.  Then what?  What if you or your ex have children with other people?  Is that relevant?  What about college?  Who pays the tuition?  What if you believe the child should pursue the military instead?

DIY-ers can probably find all of this information by doing research.  But when are you going to do that research?  On your days off?  After work?  Issues in Family Court are not weekend projects like painting your living room or fixing the sink.  On average, an uncontested divorce - truly uncontested - takes about 3 months.  Mildly contested actions take at about a year, and highly contentious matters can last 2 years or more.  Even a motion for child support can take 2-3 months.  That's a long time to DIY, especially if it becomes emotionally draining, as most family issues do.

Think about it.  Yes, you can DIY if you are willing and able to invest the time and energy (physical and emotional) that is required.  Or, you can hire a lawyer who already knows these answers.  Then you can spend your weekend with your children, or changing your oil, or working on your yard.  Maybe you could even - (gasp!) - meet a match at Starbucks!

Putting all sarcasm aside.... if you decide to DIY, good luck.  If you decide to hire a lawyer, make sure you are comfortable.  A good fit between attorney and client makes for a happier ending.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  Find and Like my professional Facebook page for informative posts to like and share!

Best,

Stephanie

Divorce Is Booming Among Baby Boomers

Its called "gray divorce"; implying that baby boomers getting divorced are old and gray.  Hey - there might be a few gray hairs in there, but its nothing a trip to the salon can't fix.

"Baby boomers", those born between 1946-1964, are getting divorced at an increasing rate according to this article from 2013.  And while divorce at any age can be financially challenging, divorce in your later years can be more complicated and financially burdensome.  That's because most baby boomers, or people in their 50's and 60's, have worked a full career and have saved and invested their money for retirement.  During divorce, those retirement assets and accounts are subject to equitable distribution and must be shared with the spouse.  Why?  Because theoretically, when you saved that money, you were doing it with the idea that you and your spouse would share in the wealth in retirement.  The fact that you are splitting up does not negate the fact that you each expected that money to be there.  An attorney experienced in family law can explain your economic rights and suggest practical options for minimizing the economic impact.

Divorce in your 50's and 60's can also be emotionally daunting.  Getting back into the dating game after many years of marriage might seem overwhelming and confusing.  Is the word "date" even appropriate any more?  With social media and online dating sites in abundant supply, its a whole new world out there.  Carol  Johnson explains how she got back in the groove in What It's Like To Get A Divorce -- And Start Over -- At 58.  Having a supportive network of friends, coworkers and experienced professionals such as an attorney, accountant and counselor, will help you get through it.

For more detailed information on divorce and your economic rights or obligations, schedule a consultation.  I can be reached at 609-601-6600.

For daily posts and information on family law and guardianships, I invite you to like my page on Facebook.

Have a great weekend!

Stephanie

Equitable Distribution: What It Means for You and Your Spouse

Clients often ask whether their spouse will "get half" of everything in a divorce.  It seems to be the biggest fear; that everything they have worked for, will be "given" to their spouse upon divorce.  It is hard to answer that question; obviously I do not want to scare or upset my client, but the fact of the matter is, New Jersey is an equitable distribution state.  But what exactly does that mean?

Equitable Distribution is a means of ensuring that each spouse will maintain a similar standard of living after the divorce as they did during the marriage.   When couples marry, most believe in the fairy tale:  "'Til death do us part".  But when the fairy tale ends, the reality of what was promised in the vows, (and what the law in New Jersey mandates), can be upsetting and frustrating, or a huge relief - depending in which role you find yourself.

Bank accounts, houses, land, pensions, retirement plans, life insurance, jewelry, cars, antiques, and anything else of value can be subject to equitable distribution.  There are certain exceptions, the most common of which is an item that was acquired prior to the marriage, but generally, any asset acquired during the marriage, or which actively increased in value during the marriage will be put into the "pool" of resources to be divided.   Bank accounts are easy to value... if the balance is $1,000, each spouse will probably receive $500.  Pensions and retirement accounts are more complex and require the use of an accountant with special expertise in evaluating those types of assets and determining the amount to which the other spouse is entitled.   Typically, each spouse would be entitled to half of the determined value.  If the owner or member of the plan started contributing prior to the marriage, those funds would be excluded; it is only the funds that were added to the account during the marriage that are subject to equitable distribution. 

It is not just assets that get divided; marital debt is also subject to equitable distribution.  Mortgages, loans, and credit card debt are all examples of debt that must be allocated.

There are many ways to settle a divorce.  Parties can agree that one spouse will take responsibility for a certain debt, but also have the benefit of a certain asset.  It is only the most contentious of divorces that result in a trial and a true liquidation of assets to divide down the middle.

For more information, I can be reached at 609-601-6612 or spedrick@youngbloodlegal.com.  Check out my professional Facebook page too!  I look forward to working on your behalf.  Have a great week!

Stephanie Pedrick