Palimony: A More Relevant Ideal For Today's Modern Relationships.

In today's contemporary world, it is common for men and women to cohabit with their romantic partner without contemplation of marriage.  Many relationships mimic a marriage without the legal tie. 

When a marriage ends, all of the assets and debts of each spouse must be distributed pursuant to the principle of "equitable distribution".  Recognizing that it costs more for two people to live separately than it does to live together, the goal in New Jersey is to equitably distribute the wealth and debt accumulated between the parties during the marriage so as to leave each party reasonably capable of maintaining a similar lifestyle after the marriage ends.  Generally, each spouse has an equitable interest in the assets (and debts) of the other spouse, and upon divorce, the court must determine the value of that interest in order to carry out the equitable distribution scheme.

In the absence of marriage, there is no right or "equitable interest" in the assets of the other partner.  Nor is there any equitable obligation to the debts in the name of the other partner.  Likewise, there is no entitlement for support even if one partner became financially dependent on the other during a long term period of cohabitation.  The only way to guarantee some financial security in the event of a breakup is to enter into a written palimony agreement.  Palimony refers to financial support from one person to another when a long-term, non-marital relationship ends.  It is generally given to a person who became financially dependent on the other person, relying on express or implied promises that his or her significant other would support him or her financially for the rest of their lives. Prior to 2010, claims for palimony in New Jersey were permitted when a promise of lifetime support was broken.  Since 2010 however, New Jersey law provides that palimony agreements are only enforceable if the couple creates a written agreement with an attorney. 

In the absence of a written palimony agreement, issues regarding the division of property such as a home or car can be complicated if the property was purchased in both names.   An action for partition may be necessary.  If a couple also has children, all issues will likely be determined in the family court system. 

If you and your partner cohabit but elect not to enter into marriage, make sure you understand the potential financial ramifications of the decisions you  make as a familial unit.  There is nothing wrong with proactively securing your future financial rights by way of a written palimony agreement.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  Visit and Like my professional Facebook page for informative posts relative to family law and guardianships.  Like and Share!

Happy Friday,

Stephanie

Write Your Will, Right Now.

I am sure you have heard the advice... you need a Will.  And you probably think to yourself, Why?  The answer is simple:   Because today could be your last day on earth.

You may be thinking that you do not have anything of value that anyone would want.  Are you sure about that?  Do you have a bank account?  A car?  A piece of jewelry?  Who do you want to get that money or those items (whatever the value) when you die?  You may be thinking that you do not have children, so it does not matter.  Let me explain why it does.

First I want to drive home the point that we really never know when we are going to pass.  The southern New Jersey legal community lost a judge last week.  The Honorable Allen J. Littlefield died suddenly at the age of 48.  He left behind a wife and two young children, his parents, siblings and in-laws.  It was a shock that we are all still processing.  His death was from natural causes.  But to most everyone who knew him - he seemed "fit as a fiddle".  His sudden and tragic death is a reminder that we should always have a plan in place.

Let's start with kids.  Are you a single parent?  Who will be the guardian for your children if you were to die suddenly?  In New Jersey, it is presumed that the other biological parent will assume responsibility and there is an inference that they are entitled to custody or guardianship.  If there are facts about this person that make you uncomfortable about that presumption - you ought to name a guardian in your Will.  The parent can always try to legally challenge the Will, but at least you will have indicated your preference and put the court on notice that this person is not necessarily the best choice.

Are you married to someone who has children from another relationship?  If you die intestate (without a Will), your spouse is legally entitled to inherit all of your estate.  And when your spouse later dies, everything that he or she inherited from you will go to (a) whomever they indicated in their Will; or (b) to all of their children, equally.  That means that whatever was yours prior to your death may later pass to a child unrelated to you.  There are ways to structure your Will to prevent that from happening. 

Maybe you are single, or happily married with no children, and you do not believe you have any assets or anything of value that requires the drafting of a Will.   That could be true.  Many people scrape by each month to pay bills; they don't own a home or a car and have nothing else of value.  But there are also many individuals who have a decent job, with a modest bank account, their car is paid off, or maybe there is some equity in their home.  If this is you, and you are single, then your estate will pass to your parents (if they are still living) or to your siblings.  Is that what you want?  Or would you like your brother to get your baseball card collection and your sister to get the car?  If you have a Will, you can express those wishes. 

Another reason to draft a Will is that you get to name an Executor.  The Executor is the person who is responsible for probating the Will and making sure your wishes are carried out.  This person should be someone you trust.  If you die without a Will, then the Court will appoint an Administrator - usually a family member, and that person will be required to post a bond.  A bond is an insurance policy in case the Administrator fails to manage your estate properly; i.e., does not properly handle the debt or the money in the estate.  If you name an Executor in your Will, you can also indicate that the bond requirement should be waived.  Getting a bond is not easy.  Anyone who has had any financial problems in their past is going to have a difficult time getting bonded.  Writing a Will makes everything easier for your family and friends after you die.

For people with large valued estates, there may be tax reasons for drafting a Will in a certain way.  Almost any lawyer can draft a simple Will.  An experienced estate lawyer can help identify more complex issues and explain why certain provisions might be best for you and ultimately best for your family. 

Its never too soon to write a Will.  For more information I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  For daily posts with  helpful information to like and share, find and Like my Facebook page.

Have a good week,

Stephanie

Can I Represent Myself in Family Court?

Are you the Do-It-Yourself  (DIY) type?  Many people are very self-reliant.  They are intelligent, have a college education, access to a computer (hey, you found this blog) and consider themselves quite practical.  These people paint their own living room, change their car's oil, research grass/lawn care and have a fabulous lush green front yard.  These people might even fix their own sink if it clogs, and they never panic at the sight of blood.  So naturally, they are confident that they can handle their own divorce, or arrange a custody or child support order.

So, why should you hire a lawyer to handle these pesky little legal issues?  Sorry, I cannot answer that question for you.  I am not a salesman and I will not waste time trying to convince you that you need me as your lawyer.  Only you can make that decision.   However, as you mull this decision over, as I am sure you will, consider the following.

Those who are Pro-se (do you know what that word means?) are expected to know the Rules of Court.  At last count, it is a 2,830 page book.  Are you Plaintiff or Defendant?  What if you have an existing Court Order and you want it modified - are you still the same Plaintiff and Defendant from the first order? 

To what are you entitled in a divorce action?  What if your spouse cheated?  Shouldn't the scum of the earth pay for it?  What about that 401K that you diligently saved?  Its all yours, right?  Or is it?  What about the money you inherited from your father?  Or the credit card debt that your spouse racked up re-decorating the house - you never wanted that 50" Smart TV, or the X-box, or the fancy throw pillows.  Best Buy and Bed Bath & Beyond don't care.  So which spouse pays that bill?

Child support?  Just submit your paystubs and the court can figure it out.  Right - except for when the paystubs do not reflect the true income.  Then what?  What if you or your ex have children with other people?  Is that relevant?  What about college?  Who pays the tuition?  What if you believe the child should pursue the military instead?

DIY-ers can probably find all of this information by doing research.  But when are you going to do that research?  On your days off?  After work?  Issues in Family Court are not weekend projects like painting your living room or fixing the sink.  On average, an uncontested divorce - truly uncontested - takes about 3 months.  Mildly contested actions take at about a year, and highly contentious matters can last 2 years or more.  Even a motion for child support can take 2-3 months.  That's a long time to DIY, especially if it becomes emotionally draining, as most family issues do.

Think about it.  Yes, you can DIY if you are willing and able to invest the time and energy (physical and emotional) that is required.  Or, you can hire a lawyer who already knows these answers.  Then you can spend your weekend with your children, or changing your oil, or working on your yard.  Maybe you could even - (gasp!) - meet a match at Starbucks!

Putting all sarcasm aside.... if you decide to DIY, good luck.  If you decide to hire a lawyer, make sure you are comfortable.  A good fit between attorney and client makes for a happier ending.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  Find and Like my professional Facebook page for informative posts to like and share!

Best,

Stephanie

Co-parent or Parallel-parent: What style fits you?

Divorced or separated parents come in all shapes and sizes, ages, races and socio-economic backgrounds.  But they all either get along, or don't. 

In thinking about this issue, I came across a great article Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting: Which Approach Is Best for Your Family?  The article explains that parents who can get along with their ex are often very successful as "co-parents".  They communicate with eachother in a non-confrontational way, they are flexible with eachother as plans change, and they support eachother in enforcing rules or punishments.  In short, they work together for the benefit of their children.

Ideally, all parents would co-parent and we would all live happily ever after.  But the real world is full of conflict and tension, especially between exes.  Children of these parents still need the support of both parents and the parents still probably want the best for their children; albeit in a different style than their ex.  Co-parenting does not work for these high-conflict parents.  Instead, "Parallel parenting" is a better choice.     Parallel parenting plans must be highly structured and detail oriented.  A back-up or "Plan B" is a good idea in the event of unforeseen circumstances such as changes in a parent's schedule on any given day.  The goal of parallel parenting is to support the disengagement of the parents so that there is less opportunity for conflict and resulting emotional harm to the children.  Rules should be established such as curb-side drop-off, neutral location drop-off or email-only communication. 

As the children grow and mature, parenting plans will need to be modified to accommodate changes in routine and school obligations.  Hopefully in the meantime,  parents can establish a workable parenting plan or style conducive to their level of tension with their ex.

For more information and to schedule a consultation I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  I would also encourage you to Like my professional  Facebook page for informative posts regarding family law or guardianship issues.

Have a great weekend!

Stephanie

Trick or Treat?

Halloween will be here before you know it.  Many  kids have already snagged the Party City catalog to scan the costume selection.  If your kids are like mine, they've changed their mind on their costume three times already!  Single or divorced parents may often wonder if their children would ever be able to come to their neighborhood on trick-or-treat night.  Until recently, New Jersey's Court Holiday Parenting Schedule did not include a provision for Halloween; but now it does. 

The Court's Holiday Parenting Schedule in Vicinage 1 (Atlantic & Cape May County) includes a provision for  Halloween Trick-or-Treat, and states:

"Each parent shall have the child(ren) for trick or treat purposes as scheduled in their community.  If the parents live in the same community or if the communities have designated the same date and time for trick or treat, then the parents shall alternate on a year by year basis, with Father having child(ren) on odd years and Mother having child(ren) on even years."

With the addition of this spooky provision, each parent can take their child trick-or-treating in their own neighborhood.  In the event of a conflict, then the parents must alternate depending on the year. 

It is important to note that the revised Court Holiday Parenting Schedule only applies to parenting plans put into effect after April 1, 2015.  Parenting plans effective prior to that date should follow their existing schedule.  Of course, parents can always agree to modify the holiday schedule to meet their own needs and those of their children.  If you can, consider adding this Halloween provision to your agreement.  I'm sure we all agree.... kids can never have too much candy!  (wink, wink)

For more information on custody, support or divorce issues, schedule an appointment.  I can be reached at spedrick@youngbloodlegal.com and 609-601-6600.

For daily informational posts on family law and guardianship issues, like my Facebook page.

Happy Haunting! 

 

Stephanie

 

The Name Game

Recently I was asked who gets to choose the last name of a newborn child?  Typically, this issue comes up when a child is born to parents who are not married.  After the birth, the mother is usually given a form to fill out in the hospital "naming" the child and identifying the mother and father.  This information is used to create the birth certificate for the child.  So what happens when the mother and father each want the child to have their last name; who wins the debate?  If the parents cannot agree, then the mother's choice will likely prevail. 

The common theme in New Jersey in issues relating to children is "the best interest of the child".  Once again, our courts utilize this standard when deciding disputes over a child's name.  There is a strong presumption that the name selected by the custodial parent is in the child's best interest.  Assuming the birthing mother is to have custody of the child, then the presumption is in favor of the mother's choice.  But if the mother was not to have custody; in an adoption case for example, then the adopting (custodial) parents' choice would prevail.   

There are also circumstances where a parent seeks to change a child's last name.  For example, a step-parent decides to adopt their step-child.  Should the child's name automatically change to that of the step-parent?  Or, what if custody changes; will the new custodial parent get to change the child's name without question?  The courts will always look to the best interest of the child.  Evidence that a child has used another parent's name for a period of time, or if the child has a level of comfort with a certain name, will weaken the custodial parent's choice.  Other factors that our courts examine include the length of time that the child used one surname; the identification of the child as a member of a family unit; the potential anxiety or embarrassment a child might experience if their surname is different from the custodial parent and any preference that the child might express, if sufficiently mature to express same.

There is rarely a bright line rule.  Family  matters are always fact sensitive.  What is right for one family or child may not be for another.  You should always consult with an experienced family law attorney for advice specific to your case. 

For more information, or to schedule a consultation I can be reached at 609-601-6600.  For daily posts and information on family law and guardianships, I invite you to like my page on Facebook.

Have a great week!

Stephanie

Divorce Is Booming Among Baby Boomers

Its called "gray divorce"; implying that baby boomers getting divorced are old and gray.  Hey - there might be a few gray hairs in there, but its nothing a trip to the salon can't fix.

"Baby boomers", those born between 1946-1964, are getting divorced at an increasing rate according to this article from 2013.  And while divorce at any age can be financially challenging, divorce in your later years can be more complicated and financially burdensome.  That's because most baby boomers, or people in their 50's and 60's, have worked a full career and have saved and invested their money for retirement.  During divorce, those retirement assets and accounts are subject to equitable distribution and must be shared with the spouse.  Why?  Because theoretically, when you saved that money, you were doing it with the idea that you and your spouse would share in the wealth in retirement.  The fact that you are splitting up does not negate the fact that you each expected that money to be there.  An attorney experienced in family law can explain your economic rights and suggest practical options for minimizing the economic impact.

Divorce in your 50's and 60's can also be emotionally daunting.  Getting back into the dating game after many years of marriage might seem overwhelming and confusing.  Is the word "date" even appropriate any more?  With social media and online dating sites in abundant supply, its a whole new world out there.  Carol  Johnson explains how she got back in the groove in What It's Like To Get A Divorce -- And Start Over -- At 58.  Having a supportive network of friends, coworkers and experienced professionals such as an attorney, accountant and counselor, will help you get through it.

For more detailed information on divorce and your economic rights or obligations, schedule a consultation.  I can be reached at 609-601-6600.

For daily posts and information on family law and guardianships, I invite you to like my page on Facebook.

Have a great weekend!

Stephanie